chinesekleptocracy:

Don’t want nudes leaked? Don’t take nudes. Don’t want to be robbed? Stop owning things. Wanna avoid being killed? Buddy, quit living already!

whyusosirius:

thesirjordan:

Julie Andrews on how she got the part in Mary Poppins.

WE’LL WAIT

when walt fucking disney waits for you then you are the absolute queen of everything

quick summary: willy wonka and the chocolate factory
boy: i hate being poor
grandpa: were going to the fun factory
mr chocolate: hello naughty children its murder time

vonmunsterr:

comradewodka:

“this cat doesn’t even want to eat it just wants to WARM ITS FACE”

i want to do this now.

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wow he sure is hungry

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no no that’s just the way all kids eat cereal these days — face first

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i’m hip

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the-average-gatsby:

imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers

so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

twcno:

futurebatgirl:

patrexes:

4sensesplusascarf:

Whenever I hear people say that classical music is boring I just want to remind them that Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture called for a cannon to be fired a total of 16 times.

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remove cattle from stage

that’s not even the best partimagekey terms include:

  • balance your chair on two legs”
  • "continue swimming motion"
  • "insert peanuts"
  • "play ball!"
  • "release the penguins"
  • "gradually become agitated"
  • "light explosives now….. and…..   ….. now."